Family Tree

Do you ever feel as though your branch on the family tree got knocked off by a wind storm? You are not alone!

I have spent the past few weeks talking with many of my family, family whom I normally only talk to once a year. As it turns out, several of my cousins feel exactly as I do, that their branch fell off the family tree.

I, myself, haven't been on the family tree in about 5 years. My sister and my sisters family have consumed my parents, aunts, uncles and the like. I am forgotten completely because "I can take care of myself." That line seems to be the common thread among my family members, as though it is the end all excuse for why I can be treated so poorly!!

Take my Cousin "Jeffrey", who is a 30 year old, VERY successful computer geek living in Chicago. His wife, his 2 gorgeous kids, and himself also feel as though his family (my aunt and uncle) have completely forgotten them. They do not get Christmas presents or even a card, his parents haven't come see the new baby, and when he does get a phone call (about once every 6 weeks) all his parents can talk about is his 24 year old brother whose life is a wreck. His own mother doesn't want to hear stories about her grandchildren, she wants him to send money to his brother who seems to be unable to hold down a job. After years of fighting it, calling home once a week, showing up anyway when 'overlooked' for an invitation to family gatherings, Jeff has accepted that he isn't going to be a close part of his families lives anymore.

"As kids we were all treated about equal. No one was ever left out, no one ever got dramatically more then anyone else, and I was always made to feel loved and cared for. Now, I am totally and completely forgotten except when the time comes to ask for more money. I am glad that I do have these great memories from my childhood, I just wish that my children could have great memories of their grandparents. I feel more anger towards my children being cheated out of grandparent time then I do for anything else. When my children grow up I am going to continue showing love and support for all of them, regardless of whatever path they chose for themselves. I have learned from my parents behavior and I will not repeat the cycle." - Jeff

I agree completely. If you are realizing in your own life that you HATE the way that you are treated by your family, when you grow up MAKE SURE YOU ACT DIFFERENTLY!

That is the biggest lesson of all.