My Reslution

As I sat here pondering my New Years Resolution for 2008, my husband announced:

Instead of making a resolution that you can't possibly keep, like trying to make your relationship with your crazy family better -which you can't keep because it would depend on THEM actually wanting to have a better relationship with you and THEM making changes as well- why don't you just resolve to accept them for who they are and have realistic expectations about them.

Brilliant! Resolutions are supposed to be something that you can do alone, and be successful at if you work hard enough. Mending that relationship is not something I can do alone and frankly I am not even sure it is possible no matter how much time, effort, and hard work I put in. For those of you in the same boat I am, it hurts, doesn't it!

However, I can resolve to accept my dysfunctional family for who they are: dysfunctional, wacky, crazy, and sometimes down right mean.

I can resolve to have realistic expectations about them. For example, I am 8 weeks pregnant... can I expect a baby shower from them? NO. Can I expect my parents to be here for the birth of my child? NO. Can I expect any help at all from my parents concerning the birth of my baby? NO. Can I expect a long list of excuses for why they can't make the drive to see the baby? YES. Can I expect a lengthy explanation as to why they don't feel the need to throw a baby shower for their oldest daughter (when they spent 5,000 on one for my sister 5 months ago) YES. Can I expect no support, no comforting, no assistance of any kind, no gifts, and really no love for their newest grandchild? YES.

It is a sad situation, but that is how my Dysfunctional family works. I am the child that they stopped loving a long time ago... and that is just the way it is. Thank God my husbands family will be here for my baby so that my baby can know the joy of Grandparents!!!

That is my last resolution: To give thanks for the people in my life who make me feel loved and appreciated, to give thanks for the relationships I have that make me want to be a better person, and to give thanks for the family that I have created.