Don't Shoot At Christmas

This one was just too interesting to pass up:

Christmas Eve, New Jersey. The entire family was gathered together for a Christmas Eve dinner, complete with lots of kids and one very intoxicated Uncle "Bernie". The recipe for disaster, folks. So after dinner, as the family gathers around to watch "The Christmas Story" - Uncle Bernie decides that it was high time that his 5 year old nephew learns the truth about Santa and tells the 5 year old that Santa was nothing more then a lie. Well, you can imagine the 5 year old went screaming to Momma and Daddy, his little heart broken. Daddy ran out and got his shot gun from the back of his pick up truck and chased "Uncle Bernie" around the house, around the neighborhood, and thankfully Uncle Bernie managed to escape unharmed. The 5 year old cried for hours, the grandparents never want to have their gun toting son-in-law at their house ever again, and pretty much none of them are on speaking terms. Oh my.

How I would have handled it:
I would have picked that 5 year old up and said this:
"Oh sweetie, Of COURSE there is a Santa. However, you have to remember that Santa only visits GOOD boys and girls and seriously, do you think your Uncle Bernie was good? NOPE. He was NOT good. When you get to be an adult, I will tell you a few of the bad, bad, BAD things Uncle Bernie has done. Santa does NOT visit Uncle Bernie because he is on the Naughty list. Now, YOU HAVE BEEN A GOOD BOY! Santa is going to come and visit you!! He had better because your Daddy and I only bought you socks... but I bet there will be toys under the tree for you come Christmas morning. You can't listen to Uncle Bernie when it comes to Santa because Santa hasn't visited Uncle Bernie since he was 8 years old. Long time. Tell you what, when Santa visits you tomorrow, we can take a video of you with all of your toys and mail it to Uncle Bernie so he can see what happens if he is a GOOD person next year!!

And then I would have left that party IMMEDIATELY and tried really hard not to punch Uncle Bernie in the nose by accident as I left.

But, since that ship has past, here is my advice now:
Time heals a lot. I would not bother trying to talk to any family members right now because the wounds are too fresh for everyone. In February, I would send an apology card to your parents for the gun incident and I would ask that alcohol NEVER be served at another family event ever. Then I would remind them that their grandchild deeply misses them. As for Uncle Bernie, I'd give it at least 6 months before I even gave a thought to the man who destroyed Christmas for my child. Maybe a year... lots of time.


And speaking of time:
Well, my family finally figured out that we were really not going to make the 14 hour drive to visit them... and now we are not speaking! Oh, they did speak long enough to tell me that they had divided up the Christmas presents they had gotten my husband and I among themselves and my sisters family... but now they refuse to talk to me.
Am I hurt? YES. I feel like I got voted out of the family. However, as my husband pointed out: I was voted out a long time ago, I am just feeling the effects right now. I really am I hurt. My heart aches because even though they are completely dysfunctional... I do love them and I do miss them, but I would hurt a lot more if we hoped in the car and drove there right now. I can't win. I can't have the lovely family moments that some people get... I get agony if I go or don't go.
How long will this silence last? I give it 6 weeks...

For all of those of you who are in the same silent boat as I am, hang in there. BE STRONG. DO NOT MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. DO NOT BEG AND GROVEL FOR THEIR COMMUNICATION (which, incidentally, will be all negative and make you feel infinitely worse)... Let time do its magic.