My heart goes out to "Micky", a really sweet guy who has become really warped by his dysfunctional family. Poor Micky grew up in a house with parents who truly LOATHED eachother. They split the house into 2 sections and lived apart "for the child" but in actuality, their constant fighting and long periods of agonizing silence did more damage then a divorce would have done.
Micky was the product of an affair his father had while still married to wife number 1. Micky's dad divorced and eventually married Micky's mom (making her wife number 2) and that marrige was pure hell for all involved. Micky's parents divorced when he was in highschool because they felt he was old enough to 'handle' it. Micky's dad is presently married to wife number 5, has additional children, and Micky's mother can only be discribed as a mess.
So, Micky is now scarred from all of this. He has no intentions of ever getting married. Ever. He has lost girlfriends because he truly views marriage as the gateway to misery and ruin.
The lessons here: Do not stay in a volital marriage 'for the sake of the children' because you do WAY more damage subjecting the child to the disaster for years upon years then a divorce would have done!!
And Micky... I am trying my best to get Micky into counseling. I doubt it will ever happen, though. I show him how happy my husband and I are in our marriage and his relpy is: Good for you, you are the exception, not the norm. He has gone so far as to say that he is cursed, because of his family...
I am holding out hope for Micky. He is a great guy who would make a great husband for someone with a lot of patience. However, he really does, like a lot of children from dysfunctional homes, need some help.
IT IS OK TO GET HELP!!! I can't stress that enough, folks. You can recover from a dysfunction wreck of a childhood.
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