To what extent do you rush home?

Here is the question:

One of my dearest friends, who also suffers with a dysfunctional family, came at me with this problem. Her sister, whom she hasn't gotten alone with since birth, just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She is thrilled to be an aunt... but to what extent does she need to rush home, a mere 800 miles, to visit with the new nephew? My friend wants to wait until Feb. and visit over MLK weekend. She has no intentions of going this week, because it would be unpaid leave from her job because it the week prior to a holiday break. She is hosting her in-laws this holiday so she has no intentions of going over the holidays. January, Pres. day weekend, is a possibly but would be difficult. MLK day is her first choice. When she presented this idea to her family, they exploded at her, which is what dysfunctional families do. She is now second guessing her choice...

But, let's look at some real factors here, before she goes and hurts herself out of guilt:

First of all: She would lose part or a whole paycheck, right before christmas, if she left now (which is what her family is DEMANDING that she do) and she can not afford to give her child the christmas she wants to give him if she does that.

Second, this time of year, as we all know, airline tickets are double what you would pay in Feb. and the chaos of flying out the week before christmas is a price to pay all of it's own.

Third, what is the total impact of damage that her delaying the trip will cause on her family dynamics? Will she be forgiven in Feb. or Jan. when she does go and visit? Will they hold it over her head forever? Can she live with that?

My advice:

Tell them you bought a plane ticket for Thursday. Hype up that YOU ARE COMING! And then fake that you have a stomache flu and can't fly and you DON'T WANT TO GET THE NEWBORN SICK and then whine and complain about all the money you lost on the airline ticket and moan and groan, make it believable, try for a little sympathy which you won't get if your family is as dysfunctional as mine, then in Feb. go and smile with pictures of the baby.